Be kind to the nurses and aides, ask nicely for something, don't demand. You may get frustrated if you arrive at the nursing home to see your loved one needs their hair combed or their face hasn't been washed, it's easy and even justifiable to get mad and demand it be fixed. However, the best thing you can do is respond kindly. Smile and say something like: "Mom does tend to make such a mess when eating these days, is there anyway you could make sure she gets her face washed after meals?". Generally nurses are so overworked and harried that they can be near breaking point, being friendly will get them on your and your loved ones side and lead to your loved one receiving better nursing home care.
Visit the nursing home often. Most nurses and aides are caring people and try to provide good care to all nursing home residents. However, nurses and aides are generally extremely overworked, if they know a particular resident is likely to have visitors they will often try harder to make sure that resident is always clean, taken to the toilet and properly dressed.
Ask for updates on your loved ones care often. When visiting the nursing home stop by the nurses station and talk with the nurses about how your resident is doing and any changes in their care, when unable to visit call the nursing home to check in. Ask to be notified when anything changes with your loved ones care, for example when new medicines are prescribed.
Decorate your loved ones room in the nursing home. Place family photos on the walls and pretty decorative items around the room, bring in some of your loved ones own furniture if allowed. Make sure to have pictures of your resident from when they were younger, it connects the staff to that resident more to see what kind of life they had. A personalized room shows you care and inspires the staff to do extra for that patient.